Joshua Ranks The Only Ten Movies He Saw in 2015

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Throughout last year and years prior, I operated under the idea I should only see a movie in the theatre if it was going to lose some of its “magic” when translated to the small screen. I avoided comedies and dramas and focused more on the big-budget, “popcorn flicks.” So get excited, because you’re reading the post of a guy who only managed to see ten different movies in 2015. Lame.

Resolution for 2016 and years going forward: see as many films as I can, regardless of their “magic factor” or genre. I mean, I’m kind of forced to see all of the things now that I’m doing this podcast with these other nerds, or whatever. Bet they have me under Force Persuasion, or something. Hopefully there’s a home-remedy for that… or maybe an ancient weapon or hoky religion to block it.

Since our “Top 10” pod, I’ve shuffled some things around a bit. When I see all of the other things on my list before the 88th Academy Awards, I’m sure I’ll do another reshuffle for films like “Creed,” “Room,” and “Straight Outta Compton.” So read-on, fair readers, knowing you’ll read-on again down the furious road of my indecision! (at this point, you’re asking if I’ll stop with my puns… I won’t)

10. TERMINATOR GENISYS

“No fate but what we make…” Part of an old Irish proverb and one of the cornerstones of the Terminator Franchise. I enjoyed the fun, nostalgic way Genisys wove through some of the first two films, but it suffered from being trapped by certain “rules” within the franchise, which leaves the story to a very limited line of expansion. The “powers that be” tried the “Back to the Future: Part 2” approach, and that wasn’t wholly a bad idea, but they focused too much on connecting it to the franchise. I’m guessing this was to fix some of the issues generated by “Rise of the Machines” and “Terminator Salvation,” but I would have liked to see a story that separated itself a little more from the franchise in order to logically continue it, versus servicing it so much that we are left with a soft reboot. I did enjoy Emilia Clark as Sarah Connor, and her dynamic with Schwarzenegger was brilliant. It is readily apparent how much he enjoys this role and this franchise. He’ll be back.

9. MINIONS

My first thought when this was announced was, “they’re going to stretch that into a feature length movie? Hmm…” I was unsure the concept would work, especially without Gru. Then I realized two things: The Minions are the heart and soul of “Despicable Me,” and I’m a kid at heart. The movie was fun, silly, ridiculous and heart-warming. The plot was simple enough, as it should be, but had a lot of great messages for kids sprinkled in with all of the Minions’ shenanigans. Gru’s entrance at the end was appropriately in-character. I found myself laughing throughout an enjoyable family experience.

8. KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE

I was expecting a run-of-the-mill action flick, but “Kingsman” was so much more! It was slick, stylish fun. It had classy, kick-ass (literally) performances from Taron Egerton and Colin Firth. Michael Caine was a bad guy (what?!). Mark Hamill was crazy… and good. So, basically, crazygood! The only thing I didn’t buy was Samuel L. Jackson’s character voice. But hey, it’s Sam F***ing Jackson. He’s the only Jedi with a purple lightsaber and it’s inscribed with ‘badass motherf***er’. You don’t argue with a guy like that. I expect big things from Taron Egerton’s career, and cannot wait to see, “Eddie the Eagle,” out this month. It’s no wonder this guy is highly sought-after.

7. TRAINWRECK

A Rom Com that breaks a lot of Rom Com stereotypes, “Trainwreck” is charismatic, raw and honest. It is a completely different type of performance from Amy Schumer’s usual stand-up as a shameless, tell-all “party-girl.” While there are some really funny moments, Schumer makes you feel more for all the moments in-between. Even Bill Hader, who is usually over-the-top, bizarre and silly, delivers a fantastic and rather straight performance as a sports doctor. John Cena, who usually plays the tough guy, is hilarious and vulnerable, and LeBron James steals every scene, in a good way.

6. AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON

I will forever be a Marvelite. I grew up with Spider-Man, Captain America and The X-Men. So it’s safe to assume I will enjoy any movie Marvel Studios produces. “Age of Ultron” was a fantastic follow-up to 2012’s “The Avengers,” with an even better villain. James Spader steals every scene he’s in. It’s the smooth, honeyed way he delivers his lines with purpose, clarity, and a perfect amount of innocence mixed with creepiness. Ultron is the villain you hate to love, but love all the same. The only character capable of stealing the scene more is The Vision, played with the highest level of sincerity and humanity by Paul Bettany. The usual suspects’ chemistry is even better and more developed this time around, especially between Cap and Iron Man. It really lays the groundwork for what is to come in “Civil War” later this year. It was nice to see Hawkeye used in a more balanced way, and newcomers Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Elizabeth Olsen are great as Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch.

5. JURASSIC WORLD

Life found a way, and we finally got the sequel to “Jurassic Park” we deserved. A fully functional, accident-free theme park. Bryce Dallas Howard as an attractive, no-nonsense head of park operations. Chris Pratt as a Raptor Wrangler and Trainer. A shady Henry Wu with a god complex. And of course, things escalate quickly and the shit hits the fan. I loved all the bits of nostalgia and throwbacks to “Jurassic Park.” My only wish was for the dinosaurs to be more practical mixed with CGI. Unfortunately, none of the Jurassic sequels can touch the first one with its level of inventiveness, creativity and character moments, but “Jurassic World” was a triumphant and entertaining return to a land of the lost. Favorite moments: Owen Grady riding his Triumph Motorcycle and leading his pack of raptors in the hunt for the Indominus Rex. Zach and Gray discovering the old visitor’s center. The T-Rex emerging from her paddock to the light of a flare. The T-Rex bursting through the Spinosaurus Skeleton as a big, “f you” to JP3.

4. SPECTRE

This is Daniel Craig at his finest as James Bond. The action and the chase scenes are fresh and explosive. The plot threads from the previous entries are all tied up. The gadgets aren’t overused. It’s a spy thriller on par with older Bond Films like, “From Russia With Love” and “Goldfinger.” Monica Bellucci is gorgeous and sexy as a Bond girl and her moment with Daniel Craig ranks at the top of my favorite love scenes in a Bond film with its tension and intensity. I was so glad she broke the “age” stereotype for Bond girls and also survived in the film. Lea Seydoux’s character is a match for 007 in every way, and it will be interesting to see how they use her for future installments, especially if they retread the route of, “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.” And finally, what can I say about Christoph Waltz as the film’s nefarious, over-arching villain? Blofeld! Finally! If this was Daniel Craig’s last Bond, it was a fitting final chapter.

3. ANT-MAN

Tales to Astonish! A heist movie set in the Marvel Cinematic Universe! This was a departure for Marvel, a return to a more singular story. With “The Winter Soldier” firmly cemented as a techno-thriller, I’m loving that Marvel is branching out more and more with its genres (here’s hoping “Doctor Strange” takes on more of a mystical/horror tone). Paul Rudd, always likable and a fellow Kansas City Royals fan, gives a charming performance as Scott Lang, a reformed thief with a heart of gold. Michael Douglas is commanding as an older Hank Pym. Evangeline Lilly kicks ass as usual (can’t wait for her to become The Wasp). Most of all, the script from Edgar Wright, Adam McKay and Paul Rudd hits all the right notes of action, comedy and weird. Ant-Man doesn’t take itself too seriously and delivers across the board. And Michael Pena steals the whole damn movie. ‘Nuff said.

2. MAD MAX: FURY ROAD

Oily, bloody, chromey, diesely, explody. And it’s literally one long, extended chase sequence! Sure, the plot is thin, but to pull off a two hour chase and make it entertaining the whole time is pretty brilliant, and a credit to George Miller’s directing prowess. Hard to imagine he’s the same guy who directed “Happy Feet.” Puts things in perspective, no? Tom Hardy is tough and just the right amount of crazy as Max Rockatansky. Charlize Theron is a badass bitch named Imperator Furiosa. Nicholas Hoult play a fanatical worshipper named Nux. And the best bit about this whole movie? Eighty percent of the effects are practical. Those were real people pulling off real, insanely dangerous stunts. Awesome. And the other best bit about this whole movie? The fact that Max, Furiosa and company take half the movie to get away from Immorten Joe’s Citadel and then turn around and go back in a desperate gamble to take the citadel for themselves. Genius. And plenty of pure, unadulterated carnage along the way. What a lovely day.

1. STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS

What can I say about “The Force Awakens” that I haven’t said already? It’s STAR WARS. Star Wars is back on the big screen with all (or most of) our favorite characters from the original trilogy. Say what you will about this being a “re-hash” of Episode IV or the same movie, because it isn’t. It may hit similar beats, but that is because there is ENORMOUS pressure to wash out the taste of the prequels, service old fans, and bring in new ones. “The Force Awakens” succeeds on all fronts. J.J Abram’s directing is a breath of fresh air for the franchise, the cinematography is varied and gorgeous. The score is glorious and different in all the right ways. The character dynamics are all there and are elevated versus impeded by the introduction of the new characters. It truly feels like we’re home, back in a galaxy far-far away. This was always going to be my number one pick, because the Star Wars franchise awoke in me the desire to make movies as a kid. It will ALWAYS hold that special place in my life.

And there you have it, folks. My Top 10 of the ten movies I actually saw. Sound off your thoughts and let us know what you think, and look for Moorhead’s Top 10 tomorrow!

*Bonus Game: Go back through my post and count how many times I used “quotation marks.” Winner gets automatic grammar cred.

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