By H. Daniel Villalobos
Couple of pods ago, we chatted about our Top Ten movies of the year and as promised, I present you with every 2015 release I have seen. But a couple of things before you dive in the deep end.
I love movies, all I ask is that the entertain me a lot and maybe inform me a little. I like to do my learning the old fashion way. Reading. So I’d rather not be preached to.
So my criteria is simple, entertain me. Also, there are about 70 movies from last year I still want to see. This is list will be updated periodically when I see more 2015 releases. Now we got the boring stuff out of the way
HEEEERE we go!
61) AMOLISA – I love creative filmmaking. I love Charlie Kaufman movies. I love David Thewlis(REMUS!), Jennifer Jason Leigh(The Freak!) and Tom Noonan(Ax guy from Last Action Hero and Frankenstein’s Monster from Monster Squad), but I hated everything about this movie. The most human movie of the year, someone told me this. If this is what it is to be human, we are sad group of creatures. I don’t feel bad for just because you played it safe and are unhappy with a good paying job and loving family so you want to cheat on them. F you.
GRADE: F
60) INSURGENT – Hunger Games this is not. I liked the first one ok, but what a waste of Kate Winslet and Shailene Woodley. However, I am a sucker for franchises which means I’ll watch the last one. Wait, this two more?! Shit.
GRADE: C
59) COP CAR – The kids were real, they spoke like kids, they acted like kids. They were really good. Kevin Bacon is never bad and he’s not here. This was a good idea, for a short. Not so much a 90 minute flick. Still, the beginning is very good.
GRADE: C
58A) BLACKHAT – It is very pretty, as all Michael Mann’s films are. Chris Hemsworth tries his best but outside of him and 2 good actions pieces, this movie just isn’t that good. In fact it sucked. The reason I have such trash as Jupiter Ascending higher is because at least that movie will be fun someday with some friends and a little inebriation. I except more from Mann although 2004’s Collateral is last good flick. Following this, the snoozefest that was Miami Vice and the major disappointment that was Public Enemies, maybe I need to stop expecting so much.
GRADE: C-
58) JUPITER ASCENDING – It’s so pretty but oh so stupid. However! This will be mixed with a late night junk food run, a few drinks or puffs(whichever your pleasure) and I look forward to the day Mystery Science Theater watches it.
GRADE: C
57) HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY PT 2 – I thought the first one was good, didn’t blow me away but I liked it. KATNISS! I love that name and I dig J-Law. I loved Catching Fire so I was looking forward to the finale. Well, funny thing happend on the way to the end. Pt 1 was so-so, underwhelming would be the term I’d like to use here. Pt 2 Sucked. Not a bad made film, I just did not like it. Maybe someday I’ll revisit the series but right now, just glad it’s done.
GRADE: C
56) IN THE HEART OF THE SEA – I should’ve seen this on a bigger screen. Still, seems a movie made by Ron Howard and starring Chris Hemsworth would’ve grabbed me more. Big disappointment after their last pairing. One of the best movies of 2013, Rush.
GRADE: C
55) FOCUS – It was ok and I really wanted to like it. Will Smith needed a big bounce back since After Earth and Margret Robbie is wonderful but this movie wasted them. Two really good sequences kept it an ok rather than snoozefest. Although Will followed it up with an Oscar worthy performance in Concussion and I can’t wait for their next team up. A little indie called Suicide Squad.
GRADE: C
I know that wasn’t the Focus trailer but who the hell cares, Focus sucked.
54) PROJECT ALMANAC – Cute little time travel flick with a likable young cast and pays homages to the time travel classics that came before it. Just didn’t have enough to feel more than a really expensive made for Teen Nick or DisneyXD movie of the week.
GRADE: C
53) RUN ALL NIGHT – New Robocop kills Ed Harris’ son. Ed Harris is a mad mob boss who Taken works for. New Robocop is Taken’s son. Taken won’t let Ed Harris’ goons kill New Robocop. There are some strong acting moments between Taken and Ed Harris, but those are just a reminder of the movie this could’ve been. Which is a much better one. This scene is pretty cool.
GRADE: B-
52) SPOTLIGHT – Meh. A documentary focusing on the victims would be more effective. It’s horrible what these men did but this movie just seems like a way to get really good actors to emote a lot and make it seem like they are the ones who brought this to light. So like I said, Meh.
GRADE: C+
51) SAN ANDREAS – It’s the Rock vs. an Earthquake, I mean come on, of couse I enjoyed it. Oh his character may be the worst emergency rescue worker of all time, but he has to get to his daughter and old people and familes are on their own. The science, I am told, is a little wonky but this is Disaster Porn(which I like ok) and Dwayne Johnson(whom I like a lot!) so I enjoyed myself.
GRADE: C+
50) TED 2 – Not as heartwarming or funny as the original but I still laughed enough. Much better than Seth MacFarlane’s previous effort, Million Ways To Die In The West.
GRADE: B-
49) FANTASTIC FOUR – I liked it. Well, the first half anyway. It was heading in a new direction for FF and I was really curious to see it through to the end. Alas, they didn’t let us get there. They veered off course and delivered a second half that was paint by the numbers bad superhero flick. Making the first two FF movies look like good movies. And those are the dumbs dumbs who made Galactcus into a giant space cloud, seriously WTF?! Oh look, I veered. Bottom line, Comic’s first family and the book that saved Marvel(seriously, if FF didn’t take off Marvel would’ve went under before Spider-man, X-Men and the Avengers ever got a chance) deserves the best Hollywood has to offer. I’d love to see a director’s cut because if you listen to Josh Trank on Fatman on Batman, Kevin Smith’s podcast, He was excited about this chance and he had a vision that didn’t get through. I hope someday they let him do what Richard Donner got to do with Superman II.
GRADE: B-
48) CHAPPIE – This movie has flaws but it’s underrated but not by much. Better than Elysium. Chappie is a wonderful character thanks to the mo cap/voice performance by Sharlto Copley. Not great but not horrible. Somewhere in between. A Short Circuit for 2015. Short Circuit is way better though.
GRADE: B-
47) THE WEDDING RINGER – The first Kevin Hart movie I had seen up to that point. I like him a lot. As I do Josh Gad. And like most people who watch the Big Bang Theory, I am in love with Kaley Cucuo. A fun supporting cast made this an enjoyable romp that made me laugh quite often, even if it is cookie cutter.
GRADE: B-
46) SISTERS – There are some really funny, funny moments in this movie but why can’t these two ridiculously funny women make a ridiculously funny and great movie. I know they have it in them! I mean SNL Weekend Update, 30 Rock and Parks and Rec are proof of that. Translate to the big screen already.
GRADE: B-
45A) PAN – Ok, so I love Peter Pan. It is my fave of the classic Disney cartoons, Hook is one of my favorite movies ever and J.M. Barrie’s book is also amongst my favorite’s of all time. I love the story of Peter Pan. In this prequel, Pan and Hook are friends and partners, an idea not new nowadays, the most famous being Clark Kent and Lex Luthor in Smallville. The movie is pretty and has some serious magical moments but Hugh Jackman is a little too over the top as Blackbeard and while I am a fan of Garrett Hedlund, he is completely miscast as James Hook. Big missed opportunity here, but not as bad as it’s “panning”.
GRADE: B-
45) DADDY’S HOME – Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg are funny ass team. This one has a lot of yucks even if it’s middle of the pack as far as funny goes for these two men, especially Ferrell. Still, there are enough moments in this movie that had me smiling on my way out. I gave this one extra points for having Hannibal Buress. Hannibal Buress is very awesome.
GRADE: B
44) CINDERELLA – If were to rank the Disney live action remakes of their animated classics, I’d have to put this one at the bottom. But if this is the worst you can do, I am very excited for the future. This is a very fun and faithful retelling of Disney’s Cinderella which is only reason I dropped it below Snow White and The Huntsman and Maleficient which did something different than just go faithful. Still, the cast is super effective and set pieces fairy tale extravagant. Disney is about take it to another level with Favreau’s Jungle Book and Brannagh’s Beauty and the Beast.
GRADE: B
43) MAN FROM UNCLE – Henry Cavill is a good actor. Dude is charming and incredibly good looking. Same with Armie Hammer. Alicia Vikander is also, all of the above. MFU was marketed terribly. A brand that no one born after 1970 knows. This should’ve been a franchise because the three above had wonderful chemistry that would’ve been fun to revisit. Sadly, that will never happen, at least not with these characters.
GRADE: B
42) ENTOURAGE – Most of the people who did not like the movie complained that it was just a extra sized, bigger budgeted episode. So? That’s why I loved it! It was very much Johnny Drama and Ari Gold’s movie. Seeing as they were the best part of the show, it was a no brainer.
GRADE: B
41) WALK IN THE WOODS – Robert Redfor owned the rights to this Bill Bryson travel book for over a decade and intended this to be for him and Paul Newman. Sadly, that never happened due to the latter’s passing. So they tweaked the script a little bit to fit Nick Nolte. Redford and Nolte have never worked together in their storied careers and maybe their first pairing should’ve been more of a home run, however, I’ll take grumpy old men in the woods.
GRADE: B
40) GOOSEBUMPS – I love Jack Black and for fans of the series there are enough chills and laughs here to satisfy the R.L. Stine fix they need.
GRADE: B
39) BLACK OR WHITE – Kevin Costner is so effortless in his ablilty to be a likable everyman yet is still someone to look up to. His character is a flawed bigot yet we know he is not beyond redemption. Gives you hope that that can happen in real life. Octavia Spencer is never not wonderful and here she is once again, playing the grandmother of a biracial baby, she stays sympathetic yet tough in her stance that kid needs to be around her “Own” people. Both families have a right to be in this amazing little girl’s life played with sweetness by Jillian Estell. Not a groundbreaking piece of filmmaking but a cute little movie with strong performances by the 3 leads.
GRADE: B
38) SOUTHPAW – In a year where Creed came out and was AWESOME, this Jake Gyllenhaal boxing drama features a highly effective performance by Jake. It’s just, well, Creed.
GRADE: B
37) THE INTERN – Sometimes I just want a movie to just have me smiling after it’s all done. Make me laugh, warm my heart and DeNiro/Hathaway did just that. Nancy Meyers is kind of good at what she does.
GRADE: B
36A) AMERICAN ULTRA – I really like Kristen Stewart and Jesse Eisenberg as co-stars and luckily Woody Allen knows they work well together too because they are playing opposite each other in his latest. AU starts off promising by like other flicks of it’s ilk, I.E. Pineapple Express, but it tends to fall off the rails a bit in the second half. Still, K-StewEnberg are fantastic together once again and it made me laugh enough to call this more of a pass than fail.
GRADE: B
36) TERMINATOR GENESIS – Yeah there are plot holes, albeit ones that would have been filled if they had a chance to finish this new trilogy, but sadly there are some critics and people who don’t have the patience to wait for them. Because of that, they couldn’t sit and enjoy the evolution of the relationship between Sarah Conner and the T-800 now called ‘Pops’ come to a warm and touching 180. 1) He tried to kill her. 2) He came back to protect her son, however she does not trust him. 3) or in 5 rather, since they have no relationship in 3 and 4, it was one of Father/Daughter. I loved this movie and am very sad we don’t get to see Matt Smith strut his stuff as the big bad in T6 & T7.
GRADE: B
35) IT FOLLOWS – The most interesting and original horror I have seen since The Ring. And the most effective abstince video to ever exist! A sexually transmitted Ghost that can appear as anyone, walks at a creepily normal pace, and we as the audience get to play where’s Waldo when our victims get into a crowd and we get to figure out which one it is by said creepy walk. Still, I wanted more. I love the mythology of genre movies, including horror which is why I like ghost stories and 80s slasher movies. This movie is very scary.
GRADE: B
34) CRIMSON PEAK – A moody, beautifully told ghost love story with a few very scary moments. It’s not the movie you might think and it was marketed wrong. However, Tom Hiddleston is a star and he is wonderful here. I expected a little more out of Del Toro but Pacific Rim got better with subsquent viewings so I will definitely give CP at least one more.
GRADE: B
33) MINIONS – BANANA!!! I love these cute little baddies so much and the prospect of spending nearly 2 hours with them made me very happy. This movie is very funny and very adorable and I will watch it many more times. One thing keeping it from getting an A was Gru and his little girls. He does have an awesome Cameo at the end that I hope sets up a Minions sequel.
GRADE: B
32) THE GOOD DINOSAUR – I liked it a little more than some of my nerd colleuges but I do acknowledge that in a year Pixar released Inside Out, this didn’t quite measure up. It’s cute and funny but the emotional punch isn’t as strong as it needed to be. Throw this one in with Cars and it’s sequel as more for the kids than everyone.
GRADE: B
31) TRUMBO – Byran Cranston is amazing. The trailer made me think of JFK though outside of Cranston’s performance the movie around is just ok. I really wanted it to be great and actually it’s closer to good than ok but something is missing.
GRADE: B
Part 2 coming soon.