We still write blogs on here right? Hell yeah we do! Problem is the 4 of us have to like, you know, make money. But we need to keep that writing tight so someday someone might want to pay us to do it. Also, check back soon, we may have some exciting guest bloggers.
For now, I will be starting this new blog where I discuss movies, TV Shows, Books, Comic Books, video games or any other nerdy time passers.
This week I watched a lot of f’ing movies, some at home and some on the big screen. I spent a lot of time with a certain video game and this time it was NOT a sports game!! In between, I found time to BBQ for about 30 people while celebrating the birth of the greatest nation on earth.
Here’s the list:
Theatrically:
THE SHALLOWS
SWISS ARMY MAN
LEGEND OF TARZAN
Home Video:
SISTER ACT 2: BACK IN THE HABIT
THE LION KING
THE PURGE
THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER
LOVE & MERCY
THE HEAT
First let’s kick it off with the big screen. THE SHALLOWS, directed by Jaume Collet-Serra, written by Anthony Laswinksi and starring Blake Lively as well as the best looking fake shark ever put on screen. And let’s not forget the best costar of the year, Sully the Seagull as “Steven Seagull”. A real live seagull who becomes Nancy’s(Lively) reluctant companion as she tries her hardest not to become a great white dinner special. With a run time just under 90 minutes, this movie is fed to us with blistering speed with very few lulls. While JAWS benefited from having a non-working animatronic shark, thus making the shark clever camera work, music and sound effects, THE SHALLOWS benefits from one of the best looking CGI animals ever. Best shark/underwater thriller since JAWS. Blake Lively continues to improve with each role. She will win an Oscar someday. Oh and she came up with the name Steven Seagull. I think I am starting to fall in love with this woman. A-
SWISS AMRY MAN is just as wonderfully weird and as funny as you’d expect. It’s also a poignant study of anyone facing a life full of regret as well as one that seems to be without love. Paul Dano plays Hank, a man stranded on a deserted island literally at the end of his rope. But just as he is about to kill himself he finds salvation in the form of a farting corpse. Let me say that again, he finds salvation in the form of a farting corpse. A corpse named Manny, played brilliantly by Daniel Radcliffe. The movie is visual feast thanks the direction of the Daniels(get these guys a Star Wars or Marvel movie, please) Dan Kwan and Daniel Scheinert. The last 15 minutes, I could do without, it’s almost as if they didn’t really know how to wrap up the movie in way that is consistent to the rest of it. But the journey to get there, including but not limited to, using Manny’s ass rumblings as a motor boat, his whole body as a water filter and not to mention he is a much more vocal corpse than say Bernie from WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S. A-
THE LEGEND OF TARZAN is old fashioned, 80s-90s adventure filmmaking. The type of movie that modern critics hate but some people still dig as evidence by it’s A- cinemascore and 72%/3.8 out 5 audience rating. RT Critic score is 34%/5 out 10 Star rating, actually higher than I thought it would get. The movie is gorgeous, the CGI animals look great, and Alexander Skarsgard and Margot Robbie are the perfect Tarzan and Jane. Samuel L. Jackson seems out of place in the beginning of the flick but fits in quiet nicely by the end of the short 109 minute runtime. Christoph Waltz loves chewing bad guy scenery and he does it so well! Not exactly sure what people expect from a Tarzan movie(my fave is 1984’s GREYSTROKE: THE LEGEND OF TARZAN, LORD OF THE APES starring Christopher “Highlander” Lambert), but I got what I expected out of it, a beautiful movie with rousing adventure and likeable leads. I liked it. Sue me. B
And now to the comfort of my own couch. I watched four flicks I have never seen before and two from my childhood or more my teenage-hood.
SISTER ACT 2: BACK IN THE HABIT, I don’t have that much of an emotional attachment to this one. In fact, I think I had only see this once but I saw the original several times, thanks to my sister being a fan. But watching this with a good friend of mine, who says that she made her mother sick of this movie with the many times she watched it, made it one fun movie night. She sang along with all the songs and laughed before certain parts happened due to he knowing what was coming. It was also a reminder to what a talent Lauryn Hill is. I respect her decision to walk away from music but things like this are just a small reminder of what could have been had she not. Please come back Lauryn Hill.
That movie night turned into an unexpected Whoopi Goldberg Double Feature. While singing along to SA2:BITH, I started getting that old Disney feeling. I wanted to sing along with some Disney classics and all of sudden, I JUST CAN’T WAIT TO BE KING came flowing out of my vocal chords and instantly, we all wanted to watch my favorite Disney cartoon of all time, THE LION KING. All I need to say is, it’s just as magical as that first viewing over 20 years ago. An absolutely timeless film.
The last 4 I saw consisted of two flicks people have been hammering me to watch, a childhood classic that became popular just as I was leaving childhood, and the best movie I saw out this entire bunch.
My friends have been on me to see a movie considered to be one of the funniest of 2013, THE HEAT starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy, directed by Paul Feig. I love Paul Feig and though I didn’t love that first Ghostbusters trailer, I have faith in him and all 4 women he cast to take on the proton-packing ghost busting. I have always loved Sandra Bullock, ever since I first saw her in Stallone’s DEMOLITION MAN. So I can’t pinpoint the reason I took so long to watch this. I liked it, didn’t love it. Just shy of 2 hours, some comedies should be closer to the 90 minute mark. Truth be told, most should. The other hammer being dropped on my head, YOU NEED TO WATCH THE PURGE MOVIES! Well now it’s a trilogy and I am a sucker for franchises and I like Ethan Hawke and Lena Headly, stars of the first one as well as a big fan Frank Grillo star of both sequels. THE PURGE… Meh. For some reason the story held no interest for me. The movie had some really good ideas and Hawke and Headly were great but still. Meh. I will still watch the second two, because they look more fun but I go in with very low expectations.
THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER was very cute and I laughed a lot. I was a little old for the show when it started, middle of my high school years to be exact but I had little cousins that were very into it so I watched and laughed. I hope now that they are grown up they still get the pleasure from it I get when I see my childhood faves done right.
LOVE & MERCY, oh man why did I miss this when it was released? This is a movie that will be in heavy rotations for the rest of my life. The Beach Boys have been a major part of my life since I was 6 years old and my dad was one of the promoters responsible for bringing the greatest American Rock N Roll band to my hometown of Salinas-Monterey, CA specifically the world famous Laguna Seca Raceway. I marveled at all the people coming to watch these six men perform some of the greatest songs ever written. A big reason these songs were so iconic and brilliant was the genius musical mind of Brian Wilson. PET SOUNDS and SMILE are two of the greatest albums ever crafted and while all the members contributed, Brian Wilson was the main creative force. L&M is an intimate look at a time when those records were being made as well as a time in Brian Wilson’s where he was at his worst with the inner demons that kept him from the spotlight for many years. God Only Knows(pun intended) what music we might have heard if this Dr. Eugene Landy hadn’t purposefully misdiagnosed him so he could steal his money. The movie does not re-invent the genre of music biographies but it does contain 4 outstanding performances by 4 of the finest actors working today. Elizabeth Banks as Brian’s 2nd and current wife Melinda and Paul Giamatti as Dr. Landy deliver as they always do. But holy shit are Paul Dano and John Cusack good as the younger and older Wilson. It made me want to write music so bad, something I used to do up until recently. Guess what, you inspire me Brian Wilson. I loved this movie so much.
It was a good week and an even greater weekend thanks to wonderful people who enjoyed my cooking and mad the 4th of July 2016 so memorable.
In case you are curious, here are my grades for the couch movies.
C+/A+(to see my friend KB love it so much): SISTER ACT 2: BACK IN THE HABIT
A+ : THE LION KING(Did you expect anything less?!)
B- : THE HEAT
C+ :THE PURGE
B : THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER
A- : LOVE & MERCY